Monday, June 18, 2012

All I Want is For My Kids to Be Happy (and Rich)

Dear son and daughter,

The world is yours for the taking.*
Reach for the stars.**
You can be anything you want to be, all you have to do is put your mind to it.***
I will always accept you as you are.****
You can love anyone as long as they treat you right and love you back.*****
Be anything you want to be as long as you love it.!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

Love xo Always,

*But please pay for anything you take, or just use it real quick and put it back, although it isn't sanitary to use lipstick testers at the mall directly on your lips.
**Stretch before you do so. Back health is so important.
***Except a model. Just being honest. Or an actor. Or a writer. Or a figure skater. Or a singer. Or a lot of other  stuff. SO before you waste your time putting your mind to something, ask me first if it is a good idea.
****It's ok if you're gay. Honest. If you have the deep desire to have a sex change because you've always felt different, I'd prob. be a little hesitant to jump on board just cause I know what positions you were conceived in and what sex children those produce, but I'll go along with it in the long run. If you want to vote republican, it would prob. be best not to tell me. If you become a drug addict... yeah. Um. Don't do that. It's not who you are. Don't have an accidental pregnancy either. I won't accept that. That's just stupid. Trust me.
***** Except anyone who- makes less than you, makes more than you, is a different race than you, is from a different country as you, is a different religion from you, is from a different soci-economic background from you, anyone from Texas, Oklahoma, or basically anyone from below 35° lattitude.
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*! Except, obviously, exotic dancing, no matter how fun it is. They sell poles you can install in yur living room now.
xo almost

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